Do you ever have one of those days – or weeks – where you do everything BUT the thing you’re supposed to be doing?
I’m actually having one of those weeks right now…
On Sunday, I planned out my entire week like I usually do – and here’s what it looked like:
On Monday morning, I planned to write 4 of the 5 emails in a new Challenge that I’m testing out.
And then after that, I planned to write and record the 7th module in my Web Designer Academy – my advanced training that teaches web designers how to market their business and get clients and run projects.
I started writing those emails… and I never finished.
Didn’t get to the 7th module.
Tuesday I planned to go to yoga in the morning, and then work on client projects the rest of the day, and then meet my old boss for happy hour. Which I did all those things, no problem.
Wednesday I planned to write my podcast episodes so that I could record them Thursday morning.
And then I have a ton of meetings back to back Thursday afternoon and an on-site client meeting on Friday.
And still need to fit that Web Designer Academy module in. I mean, I know what I’m going to put in it, it’s all outlined…
So here I find myself, on Wednesday, working on updating the InDesign File for my 2019 Plans & Things planner (which I love so much I asked the designer to sell me the source file so I could have it for personal use forever) while watching the Great British Baking Show.
Um, that wasn’t on my to-do list for this week. At all!!
And then after I finished that, I starting looking at a file of writing prompts for my podcast, and none of them resonated.
Until I realized that this week, I’ve been doing everything but the things I’m supposed to be doing.
That gave me a great idea for a podcast!
So what gives?
I know myself well enough now that when I’m not feeling clear or confident about something, I will avoid doing it.
That new Challenge I’m testing out?
I’ve got all kinds of thoughts swirling around in my mind…
Am I giving too much away?
Maybe I’m not giving enough away?
Maybe people don’t want to learn marketing from me.
Maybe they’ll only ever see me as a web designer solves their tech problems.
Why do I keep banging my head against the wall with trying to teach this marketing stuff? Do people even care?
These are the thoughts that I KNOW are churning just below the surface.
And those thoughts are leading me to inaction.
Or, distraction, rather. Because if I distract myself, then I won’t really ever let them bubble up, so I don’t have to REALLY examine them.
So I’ll do everything BUT finish writing that email series.
Have you ever been there?
Stuffing down all those feelings of inadequacy?
Distracting yourself with busywork to avoid feeling them?
Today’s pep talk is really for me.
It’s one I need to give myself right now.
Because I can sit here and worry about whether or not this new Challenge will get the results I’m wanting to get and work on updating my planner to avoid feeling crappy about thinking that way, then not take action on it, and get exactly what I have right now.
Which is no results.
And then I’ll get behind on my deadlines,
So that I can feel busy,
So that I can distract myself from thinking about feeling inadequate by feeling busy instead…
Or, I can just let my mind go there for a minute and feel it.
So what if I give too much away?
So what if I don’t give enough away?
So what people don’t want to learn marketing from me?
So what if people will only ever see me as a web designer solves their tech problems?
So what if I keep banging my head against the wall with trying to teach this marketing stuff?
So what if people don’t care?
What is the worst that can happen?
The worst is that I feel inadequate – which feels like a tightness in my chest and a lump in my throat.
So I can have no results and feel inadequate OR,
I can do my best, finish writing those emails, put them out there and use what happens as information to make my next decision.
Which is results.
So here’s the thing – in the past, it might have taken me weeks, even months, of avoidance behavior to figure out what was really going on, and even then, I’d probably need someone to point it out to me.
That fact that I even recognized this on my own today is HUGE. That’s progress.
So.
I needed to take the time to give myself this pep talk.
And if you’re feeling inadequate and avoiding doing the things that will force you to put yourself out there and possibly reveal to the world that you ARE inadequate…
It’s okay.
It’s fine to feel that way.
It’s just a feeling.
Do the thing anyway.
Give yourself a chance to have a different outcome.
If you do nothing, you’re depriving yourself of the chance.
So what about you? I mean, I can’t be the only one who’s ever felt this way! Head on over to shannonmattern.com/194 and leave me a comment.
What do you do when you’re avoiding negative feelings?
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