Are you afraid of success?
I mean, it sounds ridiculous, right?
It’s been said to me on more than one occasion by a coach or a mentor that I might be the type of person that’s more afraid of success than I am of failure, and honestly, when I heard it I would think, “That’s ridiculous. I want to own my own business. I want to be my own boss. I want finally lose the weight. I’ve always wanted these things – I’m not afraid of success.”
But you know what? I think I might be afraid of success!!
I was reading an article about the fear of success in INC magazine by James Sudakow called “Why the fear of success is holding you back more than the fear of failure.”
And the point that he makes is quote: “Success means change (even if it's the change you always wanted) If you try something and fail, you go back to what you knew. You may not be happy about it, but you go back to your comfort zone. If you try something and succeed, you head into uncharted territory. Things are different. Things change.”
Wow.
And since I quit my day job for my side hustle, I have been in totally uncharted territory.
Not having a steady paycheck coming in every two weeks is uncomfortable for sure.
So then I got to thinking about this more – like, who do I have to become to get what I want? So here are all the thoughts that went through my head:
What bad habits do I need to change? What do I need to give up? Am I willing to actually change? And what’s going to happen if I do get what I want? Will my relationships be affected?
What do I have to do more of that I’m not doing now? What do I have to let go of?
Will I have to be more firm and direct and risk that people won’t like me? Will I have to learn to say no and risk hurting people’s feelings? Will I have to have uncomfortable conversations about money?
Will I have to fire people? Maybe I’m afraid to build a team because I don’t want to have to fire people, but I need a team to be able to grow.
And I even think about it when it comes to success with my weight. It’s like if I lose weight and then people actually notice and say something to me, it’s like my secret is out. I can’t hide anymore.
The secret that I’m 40 pounds heavier than I need to be will be out because people never say anything to you when you’re overweight (at least they don’t to me), but when you lose weight they say something like “Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight.” Then I’m totally mortified that they noticed I had a ton of weight to lose… Which sounds crazy, I know, but what it boils down to is a fear of success and caring too much about what other people think.
So what do you do about being afraid of success? I can tell you what I’m doing about it.
I’m writing down all of my fears. All of them. Related to my weight, to success in my business. I’m doing a total brain dump of all of them into a Google Doc.
And then I’m answering the questions. I’m literally putting one fear on every line of a Google doc, bolding it, and then answering the question. Writing the alternate storyline. Facing my fear of success.
I’m facing them head on, and I’m coaching myself through them. I’m talking to myself as if my best friend came to me with all of the same fears. And then I’m reading them, every single morning to remind myself of what’s possible, that I’m capable of handling the success I’ve always wanted.
So if you’re afraid of success in any area of your life, I invite you to do the same – and let me know in the Facebook group – what’s your biggest fear of success? Let me know and I’ll help you reframe it!
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