Ep. 62: What to Do When You’re Short on Belief

 
Once I found out that I was going to be profiled in New York Times Bestselling Author Chris Guillebeau’s latest book, Side Hustle, I couldn’t believe it. I felt a little numb, actually. My name and story printed in a book? Are you freaking kidding me right now? It’s like a dream I didn’t even know I had come true!! Like, I never even concocted in my mind that this was a possibility.

I had first heard of Chris a couple of years ago on Lewis Howes’ podcast, the School of Greatness. He’s the author of The Art of Nonconformity, The $100 Startup, The Happiness of Pursuit, Born For This, and now Side Hustle.

Instead of the usual book promo interview, it was actually a pretty deep, personal interview which you can listen to here. Chris shared that he suffering from anxiety and depression, losing his brother, and feeling a bit disconnected emotionally from his accomplishments, feeling unsettled that maybe he wasn’t grateful enough for what he had created. It was a fantastic interview, and I really appreciated his vulnerability and his story.

I’m really proud to be profiled in Side Hustle for a couple of reasons.

One, it’s an amazing book. I’m all about creating actionable content, and Chris has taken it to the next level with Side Hustle.

It’s literally a step-by-step guide on how to come up with an idea to make money on the side, how to determine if your idea is good, how to turn your idea into an offer, how to price it and how to promote it.

And Chris shares stories of side hustlers like me throughout the book to illustrate the concepts that he’s sharing.

Plus, I love that it’s the perfect complement to the Free 5 Day Website Challenge – because once you figure out what your side hustle is going to be, then you use the 5 Day to help you build your website and start building your audience. Um, perfect!!!

And it’s a quick read also – I sat down with my coffee at 8am on Sunday and wrapped it up by 9:45am feeling totally inspired with ways to improve my current offerings (and having a tiny vulnerability hangover, if I’m being totally honest). So I highly recommend that you pick it up, even if you already know what your side-hustle is, because it will totally help you optimize it. You can order it from Amazon here. But you can’t just read it. You have to actually DO it. More on that later.

But here’s the other reason why being in Side Hustle is so important to me.

Since I put my notice in at my day job, I had some pretty bad anxiety about it – the kind of anxiety that kept me awake at night and crippled my productivity because the only thing that stopped the racing thoughts and the fear was distracting myself with work or drinking a few beers in the evening to relax and even be able to fall asleep.

(Okay, this might be the oversharing that Chris mentioned in Side Hustle, but whatevs. You guys get me.)

And I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that those things only made my anxiety worse.

But like many things that creep up on you so slowly that you don’t even really notice until it’s bad, I didn’t realize I was feeling that bad until one weekend where I literally stayed in bed all day binge-watching the Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu.

I was trying to keep the fear of all the bad things that could happen when I no longer had a steady paycheck at bay. I had a ton of emails and Facebook group questions to answer and client work to do, and I couldn’t bring myself to even face it.

I had also not renewed my coaching package with my business coach, which I told myself was because I needed to save money, but I look back on that now it was a telltale sign that I was avoiding facing something.

I don’t know why I do that, it’s so counterintuitive… like, I’m afraid of losing everything so I’m going to do…. Nothing. The opposite of what would fix the situation.

I think that’s called self-sabotage. Anyway.

After sharing how I was feeling with my sister and a friend, they both suggested therapy (which I haven’t done… YET, it’s on my to-do list).

But that did spark me to renew my sessions with my business coach. Now, I know she’s not a therapist, but she has a true gift for reframing my mindset and getting me back on track mentally. It’s kind of amazing, really.

I wrote about this in another blog post, but we talked about focusing on all of the positive possibilities instead of the negatives ones. I know, it seems really simple, but just like I have a hard time imagining what I’d look like if I were 30 pounds lighter because I’ve never actually seen it, I’ve had a hard time imagining what life would be like with the cap taken off of my earning potential and no job to go to every day – i.e. the freedom I’ve been chasing for the past 3 years.

Like, I’ve been so focused on the goal of quitting my day job and taking my side hustle full time that I literally have not thought about what will happen after that…

Hmm… I should probably dream up that vision and write down what that looks like so I know where I’m heading next… anyway…

When I’m short on belief, the evidence really helps.

Since I started my side hustle, there have been a few things that have happened along the way that have given me confidence and opened up my mind to what’s POSSIBLE.

Like when I got my very first subscriber and my very first affiliate commission. And then when I was named one of the 100 Best Sites for Solopreneurs from One Woman Shop. When I had my first $5,000 month. And then my first $10,000 month. Or that nearly 5000 people have signed up for the Free 5 Day Website Challenge. When I hear from someone that the Free 5 Day Website Challenge helped her son get into university. And now, being in Side Hustle.

For all of it, I feel grateful. But I also feel validated.

And I know, I KNOW that the belief has to come from within and that I can’t rely on external validation to tell me that I’m doing the right things. I know that I need to evict the bully in my head and wrap my mind around the idea that I can create whatever I want in my life (as long as I take the time to figure out what I want). I know that I don’t have to have ever seen it in real life to know that it’s possible.

But it’s the truth. I feel validated. I don’t know what I’m trying to prove or to whom I’m trying to prove it to… So I guess that’s what I can put on my list to talk about at therapy.

But I also know that I took a specific set of actions to make this happen. I wasn’t “discovered.” This opportunity didn’t just come out of thin air. I took action and made it happen.

And that’s why I know that I’m going to be okay no matter what happens next.

And when I pulled that book out of the Amazon box on Monday and opened to Chapter 8 where Chris told my story, I showed my husband and said, “My name’s in this book, and the next time my name’s in a book it will be because I wrote the book.”

So what I really want you to take away from all of this is that even when you have the blueprint, like what Chris shares in Side Hustle and what I share in the Free 5 Day Website Challenge and my courses, mentally can be challenging to grow a business on your own.

Especially when you have no idea that you’re holding yourself back. And when you have no idea that you’re in your own way, it’s difficult to take the actions you need to take to reach your goals.

And that’s why it’s so important, in my opinion, if you’re serious about your business and you really want it to work to invest in a coach – the kind that will help you get out of your own way. And then the secret is to just do whatever they tell you to do. Because it’s the action that’s going to make all the difference, not the ideas.


Today’s pep talk is brought to you by Bluehost. Go to www.shannonmattern.com/bluehost and get 36 months of web hosting for just $2.95 a month. That’s less than one trip to Starbucks a month – and if you’re anything like me, you’re at Starbucks more than that!

Then you can sign up for my Free 5 Day Website Challenge at www.shannonmattern.com/5day and I’ll show you step by step how to get started building your new website for your side hustle.