My dad works for Honda. Over a hundred times a day, he watches the same car come off the line, gets in, does a check, turns it on and drives it up to 50MPH, checks some more things and sends it on to the next guy. Over and over and over. He used to be in middle management and he likes this job much better, but still, I don’t know how he doesn’t lose his mind.
Every day for the past 8 years I’ve driven the same drive to work. To the same building. And sit in a different office than I did 6 months ago, but it still doesn’t have windows. And listen to the same unhappy people complain about their job. Dodge the same office politics that I’ve slowly extracted myself from over the past couple of years. I sit in the same meetings talking about the same things we talked about last week. Lots of red tape and little progress.
Doing the same thing every day for 8 years starts to take a toll.
I need to feel like I’m moving forward, like I’m making progress, like I’m working toward something. I need to see results quickly or I lose focus and interest. Um, that’s why I used to ditch diets so fast, I don’t see progress quickly enough – but that’s another blog post.
I can’t change my work environment without quitting – and I like what I do, and despite how I feel like I’m starring in Groundhog Day sometimes, my employer is extremely generous with pay and benefits, so #duh why would I up and quit? I got bills to pay and a furry mouth and a husband to feed! Well, he can feed himself but you know what I mean!!
I may not be able to change my work environment right now, but I can change my attitude and actions.
I started WP*BFF to fill a void of being unfulfilled in my day job, with the idea that I would build it slowly over time and eventually leave this company that I felt was stifling my freedom. And the more I grew my subscriber base and revenue, the more it started to feel like a possibility. I was helping people do something that is really tough for them but comes easy to me – and they were so grateful – and their gratefulness gives me such joy!
Since the beginning I’ve proclaimed to all of my BFFs that WP*BFF is my path to quitting my day job and finding that freedom to do what I want to do every day, wear what I want to wear every day, be where I want to be every day. And I've poured a ton of energy into it.
Oh, I still showed up to the office every day from 8AM-5PM, but my mind wasn’t really here. I was constantly thinking about my next marketing plan. Or everything I had to do for my next webinar. Or popping into my Facebook group to answer questions. I would go into meetings and say “I read about this new online marketing technique, maybe we could try it here.” I’m sure I was super annoying, but I couldn’t help it!!
And slowly the contrast of how unhappy I felt from 8-5 to how happy I felt from 5-10 became much, much more pronounced.
Work was starting to get in the way of WP*BFF, and the lines were getting blurred… But I knew that I was going down a slippery slope and that unless I was prepared to quit my job or ready to get fired, I needed to become more present at work and create some distinct boundaries between work time and BFF time. My One Woman Shop membership comes with a mastermind group that helped me put some strategies in place to manage my time and become more efficient. (Best $30/month I could be spending right now, BTW).
A few weeks went by and I thought I was doing a pretty good job. And then I got this email from my boss on July 5:
“Please clear your schedule and meet me conference room today at 1PM.”
Oh shit. Shit shit shit! I’m not ready!! I only made $880 dollars in the past 6 months. Crap!! Welp, guess I’ll have plenty of freedom now, won’t I?
So I walked into that conference room, bright red (because I’m Irish and we can’t hide it when our blood pressure goes up) and I sit down across the table from my boss and another co-worker, both of whom I really admire and respect. They pull out our organizational chart, and they start drawing lines and arrows and moving things around, and then my boss looks at me and says “You look concerned. Don’t be. This is a good thing.”
So I actually stop panicking and start listening, and they basically say that they love what I’ve been doing on the side and my ideas that I’ve brought to them are great and they want to give me the opportunity and authority to implement them.
WHAAAATT?? So wait, I’m not being fired for constantly thinking about tools and strategies and services to grow my OWN membership at WP*BFF – strategies that can be applied to growing membership at this professional membership association that I work for?? AND you’re putting me in charge of the programs that I would need to be in charge of to execute those ideas?? WHAAAATT??
Here’s how the rest of the conversation went:
Me: “You know that I’ve been building a business on the side for the past 6 months with the goal of leaving, right? I’ve made that pretty clear.”
My Boss: “Yep. This position isn’t built around just you. We are going to do this regardless of whether you take on these new responsibilities or not. But we think that you’re the best person for this job and wanted to give you the opportunity, and hopefully you’ll reconsider your long-term vision with us.” Or something like that… I was still processing what was happening.
Me: “I’m probably going to say yes, but this is completely contrary to what I’ve been telling myself for the past 6 months. I need to sleep on it.”
My Boss: “Great. Let me know by tomorrow afternoon.”
I went home shared with my husband that I wanted to do it but was worried I wouldn’t have enough time for WP*BFF. He told me that I shouldn’t give it up, that WP*BFF is what put me in a position to make a huge impact at my day job, and that they feed off of each other. He figures that the leadership skills I’ll develop at the day job will be AWESOME for running a business when I get to the point where I have to hire people (because I totally will, you guys) and the tech and innovation and service going on at WP*BFF can be translated to growing our membership at the association.
YAY! He totally gets what I do all day at work and all night at home 🙂
But before I accepted, I needed the advice of one more person – a mentor who doesn’t know he’s my mentor – James Altucher. He does a Twitter Q&A every Thursday, so I tweeted him, “I’m choosing myself, but I was just offered a promotion. Should I take it?” (Choosing yourself is his term for creating your own wealth – no shot-callers or gatekeepers like employers). His reply?
“yeah. but still choose yourself on the side. promotions sometimes mean more slavery”
Duly noted.
And I woke up the next morning EXCITED to drive to work. EXCITED to site in my beige windowless office and write down ALL the ideas I have to market and grow our membership. EXCITED to practice not letting others negative attitudes affect me. EXCITED to sit in meetings to discuss strategy. EXCITED to choose to spend my time there.
I never saw that coming. James also theorizes that if you work on getting 1% better each day, your life will completely change every 6 months. That promotion I was offered? 6 months to the day after I started WP*BFF… Freaky…
So I wanted to share with you some things I learned while building my business on the side while working full time that I’m going to continue to work on so that all of this doesn’t implode over the next few years:
1. Don’t check out of your day job. I did this, and that’s what created that contrast between unhappy at work and happy doing the side gig. I stopped socializing with my work buddies and was just going through the motions. That’s not fair to anyone.
2. Don’t live a double life. I didn’t want my coworkers to know anything about what I was doing. Especially because it was always my plan to quit, and when you break with the rank and file around here it makes life a little harder… Like it's some commentary on their choice to work there. And it's not. My choices are not a commentary on how anyone else should live their life.
But I also didn't want to come off as a smug asshole talking about this super fun side business that I love so much. It's like talking about your new diet or CrossFit obsession. (No one cares. Believe me, I've been that girl). So I kept this big part of my life to myself, and my relationships with people suffered because of it. I couldn't be myself.
People could tell I was holding back – and they thought it had something to do with office politics, which made the whole working environment more tense. It's WAY nicer now that people know I'm just running a side gig and not coming up with a nefarious plan to spy on them with my mad IT skills.
3. Be honest with your employer about your business pursuits, and better yet, explain how this professional growth can positively impact their business too. Why should they care if your professional development comes from conferences and seminars or running your own business on the side? Unless what you are doing is in direct competition with your employer… Honestly, I think that’s kind of an ethical grey area – if you don’t feel like you can be honest, maybe what you’re doing isn’t right. I’m not saying this is the case 100% of the time, I’m just sayin’…
4. Don’t work on your side gig on your employer’s dime. Yes, you may spend some time at work checking Facebook, or your bank account, or reading the news or chitchatting with co-workers – time spent at work not directly related to your responsibilities. And you also may spend time at home checking work email and strategizing. In the end, I really believe it all balances out.
BUT they are not paying you to grow your side business. It’s really important to carve out time specifically to work on your side gig that’s outside of work time (and family time). Having that set schedule and set hours makes you more efficient and accountable when you’re working on it.
Set boundaries. I feel really bad if I don’t answer people’s questions in my Facebook group right away. It’s because I know they are in the middle of working on something, get stuck and need help to move forward, and the longer it takes to get help the more frustrating the WordPress experience can be.
BUT I have to look at the reality of my situation and set boundaries that I will only check my Facebook group in the morning before work, at lunch, and in the evenings and SOMETIMES I have to not be online on weekends to be present for my family. It’s hard, but I know that the group is getting big enough and everyone is going through the same experience and I see you helping each other – which totally warms my heart!! I will never leave you hanging, but I might have to make you wait a day.
5. Let some things go. Now when I’m deciding what things to do in my business, I have to ask myself three questions: How does this grow my list? How does this serve my community? Is this something only I can do or can I outsource it?
You guys know how I’m all about avoiding creative avoidance, but I get bogged down in it too. My inner perfectionist control-freak cheap-ass rears its ugly head every now and again and I have to put her in check!! I’m trying out a VA for the first time this week, and I’m pretty excited about it.
6. Make time for fun, health and downtime! It’s not all about work. I need to set aside time to be with family and friends and enjoy life without my nose in my iPhone and agreeing to things I’m not really paying attention to. I’m working on it.
I need to make physical activity a priority daily. It’s easy to lie to yourself and tell yourself you don’t have time because you’re SO BUSY with work and the side gig… Well, I’m a pro at lying to myself about that. I joined the Nerd Fitness Academy and made a standing desk in my office. Small consistent actions daily.
I'm learning to meditate, starting with about 5 minutes a day and feels like a little re-charge.
I like to watch Orange is the New Black and Real Housewives of Whatever City and zone out sometimes. If I’m constantly working, then what’s the point of it all?
So because of my new responsibilities plus all I have learned over the past 6 months about building a business and juggling it with life – there are some EXCITING changes coming to WP*BFF that I’ll be telling you all about over the next few weeks.
(Re-read this post and take a drink every time you read the word “exciting” or any variation thereof).
I’m committed to you guys, to growing WP*BFF and to making a real impact at my day job. You all deserve it.
Stay tuned 🙂
P.S. Help me spread the word about WP*BFF so I can continue to provide you with awesome FREE content! Please post this link in your favorite Facebook groups for entrepreneurs: https://shannonmattern.com/why-im-not-quitting-my-day-job/
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